Total Shock

Wow…I'm still in shock.  Some days I don't even believe it…but then I get nauseous and it makes it a lot more real for me. 

So…in November my skin started breaking out like CRAZY!  I was so frustrated.  My skin only breaks out when I'm doing fertility treatments.  That was all finally over - so why in the heck is my skin breaking out again.  I told Curtis I wanted to go back on accutane or something.  I hate pimples.  It is such a confidence deflater.  In order to go back on accutane you have to take a pregnancy test.  I thought it was totally stupid that I had to do that.  I mean really?  Doesn't 5 rounds of failed IVF - and 2 more with a gestational carrier - make you exempt from pregnancy tests??  But I peed on a stick anyways - and bam - POSITIVE!!!

I almost fell to the floor.  There is absolutely no way.  I showed Curtis the test.  We both thought it was faulty.  It must have been old or something.  So he ran to the store and bought 5 more.  I peed on all 5.  And they all came back POSITIVE.  I still was in disbelief.  We both didn't know how to react.  How far along am I?  My last period was in September.  That would make me 10 weeks or something.  And there's just no way.  I was thinking I must be miscarrying.  I don't feel pregnant AT ALL.  

The next day I called an OBGYN and set an appointment.  A week later I went in and they had me pee on another stick that came back super positive.  It turned blue right away.  They didn't do an ultrasound, so I still was thinking…"Oh, it probably won't last very long."  (This is my pessimistic infertile mind thinking).  

I started spotting so I just knew I was miscarrying.  I just hoping I didn't have to have a D&C.  Those suck.  I went back a week later for an ultrasound and saw a little gummy bear with a freaking fluttering heartbeat.  Un-freaking-believable.  I have NEVER seen a heartbeat by myself.  Ever.  She put me at 6 weeks and said my last period was around October 20th.  That's impossible.  I didn't have a period the whole entire month of October.  I know that FOR SURE.  How in the heck did I ovulate without a period?  And how did Curtis' poor morphology sperm penetrate my random egg?  The fertility doctors told us that was impossible.  I seriously felt like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber…"So you're telling me there's a chance???"  Haha…  I still don't understand how this all happened.  I mean…I know how babies are made, but for me a baby is made in a petri dish and implanted into another woman's uterus.  This just doesn't happen for us.  Obviously someone else had a hand in all this.  

I went in for another ultrasound at 8 weeks and saw that little stinker still growing strong.  I had another appointment today - and I'm 10 weeks, 2 days and still chugging along.  Around 7 weeks I got pretty nauseous.  Not throwing up, just nothing sounds good - except carbs.  Give me some curly fries and chips and I'm good to go.  I'm gonna get huge if I keep eating like this.  I've also been super tired, which doesn't mesh well when you have 8 month old triplets, but we just make it work.  

We are super excited!  We know life will be crazy with 4 kids ages 15 months and under, but my life is already crazy and we seem to manage.  I still don't understand why things happen the way they do…but I guess I'll never get it.  That's one question I'm gonna ask the man upstairs when I get there.  

This is how we told our family.